Would you ever?

[Minty]

If it was someone I loved, I might be stupid enough to do something like that - I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. But it would probably backfire on me.

Would you ever be nasty to someone in order to get them to like someone else (there's a story behind this one!)?

[Caspin]

I don't think I would, to be honest, no. I'd probably just leave it up to them to like each other or not, as they saw fit.

(Do we get to hear the story?)

Would you ever have a spray tan?

[Minty]

I would never get a spray tan - unless there was some financial incentive for doing so!

Would you ever try hang-gliding?



Now for the story. Many years ago, a friend of mine was keen on a girl called Kirsty. He thought her pretty (which to be fair she was), I thought her pretty awful. She was stuck-up & seemed to be in a perma moody. But who your mates fancy is who your mates fancy, & a real one doesn't try & put them off. He'd had his advances rebuffed more times than Kevin with Winnie in "The Wonder Years".

It just so happened that one day at Uni I encountered her with some old acquaintances of mine from schooldays (who were friends of Kirsty's sister & so she reckoned by default were friends of hers. They were too kind to disabuse her of the notion). Pleasantries were exchanged, those between Kirsty & I being icy (I will admit, my reply icier), & with some artlessness said acquaintances (knowing the potential for a good laugh when they saw one) asked whether my friend was still chasing after Kirsty.

She made some sort of huffy remark to the effect that in terms of his chances hell would freeze over first (which some suspected was her protesting too much), & I retorted in my best imitation of her own looking down her nose at everyone style that I was glad of this because "he's far too good for the likes of you." That was the end of that topic amid some shocked giggles & some "now now, that's not nice"s.

Kirsty's seethe was priceless, & to be blunt she was long overdue getting taken down a peg, but my main motivation was I knew her enormous ego would want to get her sweaty mitts on my friend first chance she got to prove the point she could have any boy she wanted.

A week or so later, I encountered my friend with other old local mates of mine, & he told me that at the uni union club night, Kirsty had walked right up to him when he was with some mates from his class (it was one of their birthdays) & asked him to dance. "Game, Set & Match to Minty!" I thought.

No, he'd been in a feeling sorry for himself mood over the constant rebuffs that week, & when she'd come over to him - he by this stage a triple Jim Beam & two pints of Guinness to the good - he told her no. She stormed off in the huff with his friends derisive laughs ringing in her ears to make it a situation irretrievable.

I blew a fuse. "What the hell were you playing at? After all the funking trouble I went though to insult her for you!" It took me two attempts to explain to everyone what had happened. It was the moment I realised I'd never get a career at Matchmaker.com!

[Caspin]

Sounds like your friend had a lucky escape from his beloved!

No I would not try hand-gliding. I'd be too scared! Maybe if it was one of those double ones in which you are attached to an expert hand-gliding person.

Would you ever shave off all your hair for charity?

[Minty]

I shaved off all my hair (& I mean ALL bar eyebrows) one summer many years ago when it was so scorching hot day after day & I was desperate to do ANYTHING to cool myself done without having to take cold showers four times a day. Worst mistake I ever, EVER made.

I get stubble burns bad enough on my face from a day's growth, stubble burns anywhere else........Bobert & Ollie, if you are reading this, NEVER let anyone con you into waxing/shaving your legs for charity, because leg stubble burns are one of the tortures Satan's imps inflict upon the damned. Why cyclists want to shave their legs for is anyone's guess.
Therefore, to answer your question (ten years later! ), only if the charity concerned was the "Minty In A Caribbean Tax Haven Paradise Up With £10 Million & Up Yours HM Revenue" Trust.

Would you ever do a karaoke duet with someone you knew sang like nails going down sheet metal?

[Caspin]

(Crumbs, you're mad, aren't you! Waxing would result in less pain than shaving, just in case you are ever tempted to repeat this crazy endeavour.)

Um, yes, I might do sheet metal karaoke if the person concerned was a mate. It's be over pretty quickly, because I can't sing particularly well either, so we'd probably be removed from the stage by a desperate mob pleading to have their ears spared. But hey, for those five seconds, what we lacked in talent we would make up for with enthusiasm! It would probably help if everyone had a couple of shots of Knob Creek first, singers and listeners alike.



Would you ever walk around town dressed as a pirate, just to see how people react?

[Minty]

Only if it was National Dress Up Like A Pirate Day or something.

Would you ever eat snails?

[2qewl4u]

I actually would. They would have to be cooked though
Would you ever go to work/university/school in a swimsuit?

[Minty]

No, but your Simself keeps trying to at every opportunity!

Would you take a seat on a bus/train next to someone you knew to be chronically flatuent, or would you sooner stand?

[2qewl4u]

Haha so not me!

Depends on how long the trip is.
Would you ever lick someone's feet for a thousand dollars?