Could someone please chuck the Naked Rambler into a big patch of nettles?

[Minty]

He probably needs that backpack to carry his enormous ego in. Pity the rest of him isn't so enormous (oh dear, this is getting into a BMC conversation here!).

That's what probably would cure him, a bit of aversion therepy. A few hours of pointing & laughing from the ladies, frequent use of such phrases "that reminds me, I need to buy some Wee Willie Winkies for the kids/some maggots for going fishing" & he'll soon be dashing to his nearest Primark.