The Official Nonsense Thread

[Ollie]

That Panda seems to have some anger issues, now that's an animal I would put down, or at the very least put it in to captivity.

[Minty]

That's Heart Of Midlothian going into administration tomorrow, which is a relief as it means the shifty Lithuanians will finally no longer have control over the club.

At the weekend they were telling the fans they had 10 days to raise half a million from season ticket & club shop sales or the club wouldn't survive the close season, with everyone wondering where the hell this half million black hole suddenly came from as all the debt the club had was to the owners for the ludicrous wages they'd paid to all those crappy Lithuanian players we got foisted with down the years.

Luckily the parent company that owns Hearts was declared bankrupt this morning by the Lithuanian courts, which means those that have been trying to buy the club will now have the chance.

I've had a feeling for sometime Hearts were being used for some Eastern European money laundering scam, as any money it made went to a Lithuanian bank, who afterwards transferred money into a Scottish bank account for the payment of bills (which caused no end of problems with bills not being paid on time or wages on time)

Save a thought for Danny Wilson, Caspin, whose football career is now in limbo as no one can determine whether he is registered with Hearts or still with Liverpool.

[Caspin]

I quite like the way that panda stares people down. That's what I normally do if someone is bugging me. It often works better than having a go at them because after a while they just go quiet and leave you alone. Fix them with your steely panda gaze! You could try that on your sister, Ollie. Just stare at her until she goes away.

Hearts in administration. OK, well there's my lunchtime reading organised for today. They wanted 500000 quid raised from club shop sales in ten days? I wonder how much did they raise in the allotted time? And where has that money gone now? Lithuania? If that had been Man Utd (boooo!) they could have just sold about ten new kits and that would have raised about that sum. Sometimes I can't quite believe how much footy shirts cost. So there must be lots of people who are owed money now by Hearts then. I wonder if they'll ever get it back. We could hold a SimsForums Sausage Roll Bake Sale to help out!

I shall indeed spare a thought for Danny Wilson, who appears caught between two of my three clubs. I'm sure he'd be made very welcome at my third club, if he fancies taking his chances in the Evo-Stick League!

Tonight is theatre night for me. Yay! I'm going to see this , with the wonderful Zoe Wanamaker. I've seen her on the stage a few times before and she's excellent. I just hope I can wake up a bit and enjoy it properly - I stayed up late last night and am now suffering the consequences.

[Caspin]

Every time I look at the BBC news website at lunchtime there seems to be some new story about the hopelessness of EA. They have run loads of articles about how rubbish EA are for customer service and gave them a good old bashing for the SimCity debacle. Then there was EA's sad plea for fans to please stop hating them. Now they have apparently angered people who play Scrabble on facebook . It seems that there is nothing EA can touch that doesn't turn to shine!



Ahahahahaha - this was just sent to me by email.

What happens when you search for info about the new Xbox One using Google or Bing?




Playstation FTW!

[Caspin]

Head of IT just suggested I see what happens when you Google "EA is"





Ah, seems about right.

[Minty]

I pity the fool that messes with Scrabble players. The real hardcore players are a touch "intense", it wouldn't surprise me if there's a few serial killers amongst them - probably people they played in village hall tournaments that got away with using illegal words because the judges weren't playing to "Official Rules", more likely the judges themselves. I have now written a new plotline for Midsommer Murders & deserve a cookie!

How many plays is that now Zoe "Madame Hooch" Wannamaker and Owen Teale have been in together? Or was that on TV? Can certainly remember them in a couple of programmes together as characters. I remember Owen Teale from "Island At War", he was one of the few believable characters in the whole show.

Did you know the first professional cricket players were in 1660!

[Caspin]

For your script-writing:




Make sure you have included a hapless vicar and a shy but madly attractive school mistress (or gardener/librarian or similar). Also the plot must contain some entirely gratuitous references to pagan rituals conducted in the woods/by a lake/in a barrow.

Zoe Wanamaker was great but actually for me Samantha Bond stole the show - for being an excellent impersonator of Zoe Wanamaker! The play is about adultery and the main characters' alter-egos are on stage at the same time. They were more like their inner voices, really. There were a lot of very funny lines and they all got lots of laughs. I think everyone there enjoyed it a lot, except for one poor woman sitting a few rows behind me - perhaps she had been dumped or cheated on recently or something because she bawled her eyes out throughout the second act!

I'll let my scrabble-playing friends know that they are all intense psychos.

I have never liked scrabble, even though I like words, because people do take it so seriously and get so competitive. I also really hate trivial pursuit and will generally refuse to play it, even though I like facts, for the same reasons. It's a game, people! If a board game is to be played, maybe at Christmas, and I'm asked to choose, I always pick Cluedo. Then I can make dramatic announcements about candlesticks and lead pipes in the billiard room.

I really should be asleep now. Good night.

[Ollie]

Good-night Caspin!

Added later; Woohoo! My PAX Aus tickets arrived today!

[Caspin]

Good morning Ollie (or good night for you, I guess)!

Ooooh PAX, yes I remember you mentioned that before. Yay!

[Minty]

(19-06-2013 10:19 PM)Caspin Wrote:  I'll let my scrabble-playing friends know that they are all intense psychos.

I have never liked scrabble, even though I like words, because people do take it so seriously and get so competitive. I also really hate trivial pursuit and will generally refuse to play it, even though I like facts, for the same reasons. It's a game, people! If a board game is to be played, maybe at Christmas, and I'm asked to choose, I always pick Cluedo. Then I can make dramatic announcements about candlesticks and lead pipes in the billiard room.

Board games players - I could tell you a few tales! If you want to find the biggest collection of prigs, perverts & political extremists, go to any board or RPG game convention, usually the same sort to be found at Real Ale festivals, but at least there you can get drunk.

Really, all the stereotypes are true. Geeky I like, geeks are usually quite charming & sweet, but they're the sort of that thinks still being entertained by childhood toys makes them into some sort of master race, & they really, REALLY dislike anyone that's not "one of us".

I used to know Richard Sharp, who was once British Scrabble champion. He was the epitome of the brittle, pompous Home Counties middle Englander - just the sort that would have been found with a garden fork through his head in an episode of Midsommer Murders.

Trivial Pursuit: when I was still at school, I was "volunteered" to be part of a team representing it in a district TP championship run by the council library services. One of the games ended in a punch up between two players over a dispute as to whether one of the questions was really a Science & Nature question (JHC, the poor librarian was only reading out what was on the card, she didn't print it!) & another one occured outside between one winner & a bad loser. I think this was before the European Union outlawed certain e-numbers in soft drinks.