The Official Nonsense Thread

[Caspin]

Don't be afraid, I have not devised any more limericks. This morning it seemed sufficiently challenging to find matching socks, never mind indulge in wordsmithery.

Be gone, virus, I have hosted you long enough now!

Fingers crossed my head clears up a bit by tonight, as I have a ticket to see Ibsen's "Ghosts" at the Almeida Theatre. After enjoying "A Doll's House" so much, I've really been looking forward to this one. It has been receiving good reviews too. Happily it is a short play, so I should be able to get home to bed at a reasonable hour.

Mmmmmmm, bed. I my bed.

[Minty]

Hope you're feeling better this morning. I think the start of watery window season has everyone getting more colds and flus than normal & everyone keeps reinfecting one another. That & the fact so many up here live off eating microwaved poo & think Vitamin C are a new boy band.

I see the newspapers up here are starting up a panic because false widow spiders have been spotted (which have been living in the UK for nigh on 200 years). As one uni prof said, there's more people that die annually from an allergic reaction to wasp stings than are so much as bitten by false widows, let alone have a bad reaction to a bite from one, but don't let it get in the way of newspaper hysteria so every house spider in the country gets mistaken for one.

[Caspin]

I feel less awful than I did, thank you.

The best way to avoid eating microwave dinners is not to own a mircowave. I haven't had one for years and I don't miss it. In fact the only thing I used the old for was heating up a mug of milk to make emergency hot chocolate, which is hardly worth having a whole specialist machine for.

I am terrible at identifying spiders. Maybe I need some kind of chart. To me they are just big/small, solid/tickly, dark/pale. Either way, big ones and Mr Tickles get chucked out the window. Small solid ones are sometimes permitted to stay as long as they demonstrate their skills at eating greater foes. The one in the living room that sucks the innards out of flies and then leaves their dried out husks on the floor has become a sort of pet and has been named Thor. It's a bit like when your cat kills some poor mouse or bird and brings it to you as a slightly unsavoury gift - Thor presents clear evidence of the bugs he's killed and to show my appreciation he is allowed to live by the window.

Good Thor.

[Ollie]

Mr. Tickles? What an odd name for a spider.
Well if I ever encounter a spider-it's usually me racing out the nearest window/door. Mr. Spider can keep my house, so long as I don't have to touch the creepy spiders (*cough*funnel-web*cough*).

Edit: great now I'm looking at pictures of spiders, why do I have to do this to myself?

[Minty]

(10-10-2013 11:18 AM)Ollie Wrote:  Mr. Tickles? What an odd name for a spider.
Well if I ever encounter a spider-it's usually me racing out the nearest window/door. Mr. Spider can keep my house, so long as I don't have to touch the creepy spiders (*cough*funnel-web*cough*).

Edit: great now I'm looking at pictures of spiders, why do I have to do this to myself?

Yeah, well unlike us Ollie you live in the land where all spiders are Arnie Schwarznegger, so racing out of the window/door is a good idea - along with asking the Oz Air Force to napalm your house to make sure it's at least stunned enough to scoop up & throw out.

Come to that you can't even go on a picnic without a dingo eating your baby or your party of schoolkids vanishing into a different dimension.

I used to be terrified of spiders, until I read a bit about them. The only ones that are real scumbags are Brazilian wandering spiders. They'll attack anyone & anything coz they're psycho.

If it's any comfort, even Sir David Attenborough needs a change of underwear from dealing with spiders, although I'd not have blamed this spider in the slightest if it had gone over & punched him for this.

[Caspin]

I heard that in Australia the spiders are as big as cars and shoot laser beams from their eyes (or are more scary than our spiders, anyway).

I wrote a limerick about my pet spider, Thor. I promise this will be the end of limerick season.

There was a small spider called Thor,
With a penchant for violence and gore.
He ate all my foes,
Wasps and mosquitoes,
Then threw all their husks on the floor.

OK, it's over now.

At least when I see a spider I am able to put them out without the intervention of the emergency services.

[Caspin]

Very football-y weekend this is turning into. Arrived last night and was made to watch England play Montenegro, a game with plenty of goals and yet lacking any excitement. Went for a walk past local club's grounds this afternoon while there was a match on, so got to see the new floodlights in use. They are amazingly bright! Then was made to play FIFA (is there no escape from EA?!), mostly for the amusement of my brother. Last time we tried this I managed to lose 8-0 to Shamrock Rovers while playing as the Italian national teal. It tickles him no end to observe my immense and astounding incompetence in the gaming arena.

Quite fancy a sausage roll now.

[Minty]

I swear if the jumbo jets get any lower they'll take the roof off the house!

Can't believe all the crap about False Widow spiders in the news yet again. This time next week they'll be upgraded to a terrorist threat.

On a cheerier note, Rangers finance director has admitted they will be bankrupt by the end of next April yet again unless someone comes along with lots of money. Perhaps if they weren't spending money they never had they'd not get themselves into these fixes. Also that Celtic Nation "buy our way up into the Football League then sell our place to one of the Old Firm" lot appear to be falling apart. All that's needed now is for Qatar to lose the World Cup & sanity will prevail.

It's freezing up here today!

[Caspin]

Ow! Went into the chemist's today to make an appointment for later in the week for my flu jab, but ended up being injected on the spot because the pharmacist happened to be free. An unexpectedly prompt service there. Now I can wait patiently for my arm to turn into a pointless leaden appendage.

[Minty]

Had an interview today. Fifty two people chasing one job. Doesn't look good, but did my best. At least I was one of the few people there that didn't have tattoos or was wearing cheek piercings (I kid you not!).

Yay, Scotland beat the fascists again - gedditupyas!