The Official Nonsense Thread

[Minty]

(11-09-2013 09:03 AM)Caspin Wrote:  Theatre night tonight.

I'm going to see a scary one this evening, or at least it has the potential to be scary. Going to see "Woman In Black"on the stage. It's been showing for 23 years so perhaps it'll be a bit dated but I quite like retro productions so I hope I'll enjoy it. Daniel Radcliffe did a great job in the film version last year, I thought, and it will be interesting to see how they create that level of dread and suspense in the theatre.

I just hope I don't jump around too much - I always manage to get shocked, even when I have seen the play or film many times before and know what is going to happen. It's really ridiculous. I can be sitting there thinking "OK here comes the bit where he gets shot, get ready, get ready, it's in a few seconds"....... "waaaaaah!" and then I jump out of my skin.

I guarantee you a few jumps with TWIB! The play adaptation is brilliant fun. It's a popular one amongst actors to do, either looking to be discovered or old stagers wishing to join the ranks of those that have done it at the Fortune. The person playing the ghost is the understudy/substitute in the event of either of the other two taking ill (mentioned in the programme).

Did you know there's an earlier film version done in 1989 for ITV? It's available on YouTube.





Well worth watching even today,

[Minty]

USA six minutes away from qualifying from another World Cup finals - get it up ya Mexico!



(Bloody hell, how did he miss that penalty!)

[Caspin]

(11-09-2013 09:24 AM)Ollie Wrote:  That sounds quite interesting, I really need to see a play one day…

Do you not get to go to any plays with school? I know there are theatres near you - my friend who moved to Oz works in one!
Or, when you're older, come to the UK and I'll line up a bunch of shows for you to see!

"Woman In Black" on the stage was brilliant. I was full of admiration for the amount of suspense they managed to create with just two actors and a fairly minimal set. Excellent lighting and sound effects. Just great. And I didn't jump! I did nearly break a finger while gripping the seat but no jumping.

Rant commences:

The Fortune Theatre is lovely. It's really tiny! They seem to have some sort of programme of events for schools, which I think is great, except when the entire place is full of screeching teenagers with an attention span of about thirty seconds and absolutely no respect for anyone else in the audience, nor the actors. I had a huge gaggle of squealing girls playing with their iPhones and flicking their hair around in the two rows in front of me and all of the rows behind were filled with the most obnoxious, ignorant, disrespectful German kids imaginable. They chatted throughout, shoved each other, answered phone calls. Urgh. My class at school at that age was pretty rowdy, but we'd be noisy on the coach to the theatre, during the interval to let off steam and on the way home. Never in a million years would we have behaved like that during the performance. If anyone had made even the tiniest peep, a teacher would have hauled them out by their ear and they'd get zero for the assignment right then. What a bunch of self-absorbed, insolent, witless little shines.

Rant ends.

Sorry about that. Feel better now.

[Minty]

Today I bumped into someone I've known on & off for many years from the British Nuclear Test Veterans Association - those fighting for compensation for being used as unwitting guinea pigs by the British government out in the Pacific when we did nuclear bomb tests.

He'd been invited out to Hiroshima for the annual memorial day to the atomic bombing there, & was told by some of those out there that contrary to the official line, the city's radioactive level is still way above what is considered normal background radiation, although it's debatable what danger it poses to health.

It appears the problem is due to the geography of the area. The rain in Hiroshima flushes radioactive residue into the local delta, which ends up re-evaporating into the sky & getting rained back on the city again due to the prevailing winds, over & over. Almost 70 years later, it's still happening.

[Caspin]

Note to self: avoid visiting Hiroshima. Also, no swimming near Fukushima.

I was reading a few weeks ago an article about ex-soldiers in the USA trying to get health care after being used as test subjects when they were in the army many years ago. They don't seem likely to win their case - if you sign up to the army you give them your body and soul, it would seem. Also problematic is the fact that the soldiers, at the time of the experiments, agreed to be volunteers. They felt it was their duty I suppose and had no idea what they were signing up for. It's left some of them in a terrible pickle, especially those who have suffered mental health issues as a result.

Well that was cheery.

[Minty]

In Glasgow there's a ten year old kid called Kris McDowall who busks AC/DC numbers & makes about £500 during the school holidays. For his age he's not bad & always gets a big crowd. Today the missionaries from the Mormon church were trying to take advantage of the captive audience to get a hold of people as they stood around watching.

A few people made it clear they were not amused at this: there's an unwritten rule of the street you don't take advantage of someone else's pitch for your own gain - you get your own audience off your own efforts. But Kris spotted what they were doing & immediately switched songs to Highway To Hell then Rock & Roll Damnation, much to the crowd's amusement. The Mormons got the message & moved further up.

[Caspin]

(I'd like to hear that kid play some tunes!)

So I see that EA have a new CEO. Well good luck to him!

I realise that his opening statement couldn't really be anything other than upbeat, or else it would be a rubbish starting point with his new company, but it'd take a lot to turn them into the "World’s Greatest Games Company". Following the Simcity launch debacle (followed by a delayed Mac Simcity launch fiasco), generally disgruntled customers across many games and platforms, the most atrocious customer service I have ever encountered (I think that writing EA Customer Service email responses is what the spambots do with their time now that Minty's blocked them from joining Sims Forums), not to mention winning awards for being the worst company.... the guy has a lot of work to do.

[Minty]

Here's the wee man giving it laldy!





This report didn't really do him justice. He may have been nervous because he was getting filmed. Usually he's got a mass crowd & totally unfazed by it.

Andrew Wilson? The cunning stunt that ignored the FIFA Manager fans for years over shine Future expecting us to pay for the same game with a few cosmetic changes & stealing from the modders? How inspiring. Promoting from within rather than getting someone from outside with a fresh outlook shows they've not learned from their mistakes.

[Tasia714]

I hope it is okay to post a few jokes here.. If not please direct me in the proper direction.










A wife walked into her kitchen one day to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.


"What are you doing?" she asked him.


"Hunting flies," he responded.


"Oh, killing any?" she asked.


"Yep, three males and two females," he replied.


Intrigued, she asked "How can you tell them apart?"


He responded, "Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone."


Here are few more from my archives.


1.) I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

2.) A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

3.) I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

4.) Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

5.) My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

6.) Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

7.) Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and be quiet.

8.) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. giggle

9.) Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?



And my favorite.


10.) Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


Hope you got at least a grin ..smile..

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(23-09-2013 02:32 PM)Minty Wrote:  Here's the wee man giving it laldy!





This report didn't really do him justice. He may have been nervous because he was getting filmed. Usually he's got a mass crowd & totally unfazed by it.

Andrew Wilson? The cunning stunt that ignored the FIFA Manager fans for years over shine Future expecting us to pay for the same game with a few cosmetic changes & stealing from the modders? How inspiring. Promoting from within rather than getting someone from outside with a fresh outlook shows they've not learned from their mistakes.

He is adorable, the girls will love him here in the U.S... Thanks for sharing.

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(14-09-2013 05:14 PM)Minty Wrote:  In Glasgow there's a ten year old kid called Kris McDowall who busks AC/DC numbers & makes about £500 during the school holidays. For his age he's not bad & always gets a big crowd. Today the missionaries from the Mormon church were trying to take advantage of the captive audience to get a hold of people as they stood around watching.

A few people made it clear they were not amused at this: there's an unwritten rule of the street you don't take advantage of someone else's pitch for your own gain - you get your own audience off your own efforts. But Kris spotted what they were doing & immediately switched songs to Highway To Hell then Rock & Roll Damnation, much to the crowd's amusement. The Mormons got the message & moved further up.

That is hilariousness.Smart kid. When the Jehovah Witnesses come around knocking on your door, just answer the door naked and invite them in.. They wont bother you again.. I know from personal experience .

[Minty]

(25-09-2013 04:48 AM)Tasia714 Wrote:  That is hilariousness.Smart kid. When the Jehovah Witnesses come around knocking on your door, just answer the door naked and invite them in.. They wont bother you again.. I know from personal experience .

The comedian Bruce Morton's method of deterrent almost got him into trouble with the police.

When two JWs called on him, he told them "I'm sorry, but when you rang the bell I was in the middle of having s3x."

Not to be deterred, they replied "Oh, are you married?" in a bid to retrieve the situation (the old "nooky outside of marriage" = "hell & damnation" line)

He replied "What? To a goat?"

Now horrified, they replied. "Good God, you're not serious!"

To which he laughed, "No, of course I'm not serious - it's only a one-night stand," after which they fled - unfortunately for him down to the local nick to report him. Luckily they knew who he was & realised he'd been on the wind up, & word got round the local JWs not to go near him ever again!.

(Yeah btw, this is the right thread for all jokes!)

Apologies for the absence this week, due to real life issues needing to be sorted, including pulling out the sealents from the windows & replacing them (not that bad a task, but the stuff stinks the house out).